From the (Often) Silent Point of View

**This is an aside from the usual blog. I recently read an article and my heart felt required to respond and share a viewpoint that is not often heard. I'll be returning to our regular blogging in the future. :)  Love, Staci**

TXBlue08 (“Blue”) shared an essay on CNN iReport titled “Why I Raise My Children Without God”  (http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-910282). Please read the original post before continuing. 

Shock, sadness, and frustration were my initial emotions in response to reading this essay. I grew up in the church, but upon leaving for college I decided to venture out on my own and see if my beliefs were because of what I was raised with or because I found them to be true. I studied, spoke with many people, observed others, and in the end, I concluded that God is real. I finally understood that it is impossible to see God accurately reflected in humans- we are too full of errors and fault. God is greater than just a reflection of nature- He wants for so much more from us than just our appreciation of creation. And we actually belittle Him by thinking he is simply a “big guy in the sky”- He desires a personal relationship with each one of us.

I was shocked that someone would share such strong beliefs against God without any quoted research to base them on (“research” simply meaning knowing what the Bible says, which is what Christians base their beliefs on). I was saddened that someone would live so hopelessly and without faith in someone caring about them, wanting the best for them, and providing for them. And I was frustrated that there was no one speaking out in response. This bothered me, but then I realized that I was someone, and I could speak out from a viewpoint that is no longer often heard. I will be breaking down my response in reply to each one of Blue’s seven statements.

God is a bad parent and role model

Immediately, this statement touched me. Many believers struggle with seeing God as a father figure because they have had such poor relationships with their own fathers, and yet through studying the Bible, they find that God is a perfect father and a model for our fathers to follow (although if they follow or not is up to them). In 2 Corinthians 6:18 God says He will be a father to us and many believers find great comfort in having God as their perfect Father! Many other verses in the Bible describe the way God provides for us  (1 Timothy 6:17), comforts us (Isaiah 49:13, 2 Corinthians1:4), and loves us  (1 Chronicles 16:34, John 3:16, Romans 5:5), just as a father does.

Many of these statements and my responses will revolve around this: God has given us free will and people will do with that what they want. Blue argues that a good parent will guide a child correctly and therefore the child will not make wrong choices, but I disagree. Any parent of a toddler will say that as a parent you can teach them and guide them and yet you still have to correct them when they make bad choices. Or a parent of a teenager could say that despite all the good guidance you have given them, there still comes a time when they step out on their own and make their own choices- and not all of those are good or wise or sound but it is out of the parent’s control. Blue also states that a good parent won’t “allow their children to inflict harm on others.” But if you talk to a loving parent, whose life has been devastated by a child who has decided on a life of crime or perhaps even taken the life of another, they would tell you otherwise. The choices of a child do not make a bad parent; likewise, the actions of people do not make God a bad parent or role model.

God is not logical

For years science has been searching for what makes some people choose crime. Is it something in their brain, chemical makeup, or past experiences that leads them to illegal actions? If science has spent so much time and resources searching for an answer, then it must mean that we understand there is some level of good and evil in this world, and thus fight to understand and prevent it.

There are many things in life that are beyond our understanding. We search for more information about our planet, space, and the universe. We desperately seek to know how it all works but even though we may not yet understand how, it does not mean that it cannot exist. Blue discusses the tragedy at Newtown, and I agree that it is our responsibility to fight for safety, justice, and resolution; however, it is not God’s fault those tragedies happen. Wars, death, poverty, greed- these are all attributes of evil and not of God. He does not advocate for these things or ask people to do them. In fact, if you have read the 10 Commandments you know He is strongly against them. There is evil in this world and we cannot force one another to believe or behave a certain way, and thus that is the meaning of free choice or free will.

Looking again at the tragedy of Newtown, Blue is correct when she states that we need to ask, “Why did we allow this to happen?” We. Not God. We have free will- the ability to make our own decisions and actions even if they go against what we have been taught or others believe. It is an individual’s own volition and actions that cause many tragedies, not God. Asking what happened, and why, provides us with the opportunity to evaluate and educate ourselves to hopefully prevent future events.

God is not fair

This point is one that believers and non-believers struggle to understand, but perhaps in different ways. One might ask, “why is LIFE not fair?” instead of “why is GOD not fair?”

Any parent will tell you that sometimes you tell your children “yes”, sometimes “no”, and sometimes “wait.” God replies to us in the same way. No matter what “silly” questions (or prayers, as Blue says) your children ask, you still love them and want the best for them. Many of us have tragedy in our life: the loss of a loved one, of our finances, or our sense of security. Yet in all our loss there is a bigger picture. We can learn the importance of family, of helping others, of finding cures, of managing our wealth, and of finding we are not alone. The power of a relationship with God is that He promises to offer us comfort in our most desperate times. In 1 Peter 5:7 we are invited to bring our concerns to Him because He cares about us. We can trust Him even through the things we do not understand. We can still feel His love holding us up when we may not have the strength to stand on our own. We can trust that He still loves us even if the answer is “no.” There is no guarantee life or other humans will never hurt us, but God promises to be by our side through it all and give us hope. Just like any good parent, God will be there to help us, support us, and love us through life and all its challenges.

God does not protect the innocent

Perhaps if this author understood that God is not evil, but that there is evil in this world, then she would see how so many of her points are linked together. How do we know God does not protect the innocent? What about the times He does protect them but we are unaware because our children are still safe and sound? And when our children are hurt, God is not sitting smug in the heavens. No, God is saddened by these things too; indeed, Psalms 56:8 says that God has a record of our tears. He is aware of our feelings because He cares about us.

God is not present

It is easy to see how someone who does not believe in God would not believe He is present because they have never felt the power of the Holy Spirit. That presence is practically impossible to explain, but imagine a whisper in your heart or a stirring of your conscience. How do you explain the feeling in your heart that tells you someone loves you? Or the way you know you can trust someone? In a way, God’s presence is the same. You feel His reassurance, see the blessings He provides, and trust His promises written in the Bible. Psalm 139 tells us that God knows when we sit, when we rise, He knows our thoughts and ways, and there is nowhere we can flee and not be in His presence. Whether we choose to follow Him or not, He makes Himself available to us at all times, it is just up to us to reach out (remember back to free will). As soon as you reach out to Him, you will know His presence.

God does not teach children to be good

God is not responsible for teaching our children to “be good” but instead He imparts wisdom to us as adults to facilitate that purpose. The Bible is full of admonitions to parents and children about honor (Exodus 20:12), wisdom (Proverbs 10:1), generosity (Proverbs 28:7), and respect (Leviticus 19:3). Part of raising our children responsibly is teaching them the difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. Character traits like honor, wisdom, generosity, and respect help teach intrinsic pride. Things such as prizes and bribes foster extrinsic pride. The Bible does not say to teach children to behave because “God’s watching” but because obedience brings happiness and prosperity (2 Chronicles 31:21) by doing what is right.

God teaches narcissism

According to dictionary.com, narcissism is defined as “inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity” and there is nothing in the Bible that says this is how God teaches us to behave. To the contrary, He says we should strive for “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control…let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another” (Galatians 5:22-23, 26). If God is like a father, then of course He has a plan for us. Most parents want happiness, health, and success for their children. All (good) parents love their children, forgive them when they do wrong, and tell their children they are special to them. As mentioned before, just because someone is in pain or trial does not mean that God does not care or that that person is not special, but it reflects the evil in the world and how we do need God. Believing that God has a plan for my life, or that He loves me, makes me want to love others as much as He loves me.

Blue concludes her essay by asking for those that believe in God to hide their thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. She says that they do not have a place in public and they are simply a personal belonging. In fact, she compares a personal relationship to God as no more significant than a “toothbrush” or “pair of shoes.” This statement is extremely offensive to someone who believes in God! Would you ever tell someone that their relationship with their significant other should be kept private because it is as important as the bar of soap in your shower? Hopefully not!

Like Blue, I too want my future children to have the right to believe in what they choose. I understand that some people may not want to raise their children to believe in God, however, that decision should not be based simply on Blue’s seven statements. Her beliefs are hypocritical because she is forbidding my faith in God while exhibiting her faith against God. Too often I hear society say that they are accepting of others…except when it comes to Christianity. Society shouts that in today’s age it is inconceivable to be close-minded and offend another person’s way of life…unless that person is choosing religion. This needs to end!

I ask that people base their beliefs on knowledge. How can you say God is not real or present without knowing why some people believe He is? Or how can you say He’s narcissistic or teaches children to be bad if you know nothing of His character? Aside from, and even more important than knowledge, I would ask that people have the right to express their religious beliefs without fear of judgment or persecution. I will choose to raise my children to think on their own, seek wisdom, research, treat others with respect, practice grace and sensitivity for those different from them self, and always ask questions. I pray my children will grow up to make decisions based on the guidance I’ve provided, to lead the life they desire, and to form their beliefs on knowledge. I believe this is a method that can lead to a positive change in society instead of contributing to one where respect for others has been forgotten.