Reality Check

1 + 1 = 4

I know I'm no math genius, but in our case, this is how the math actually adds up. For most families they begin as a couple and then have one baby at a time as they add to their family- not so much in our situation, and that reality check can feel more than overwhelming to a first-time mama. Recently a friend wrote me this:

"Seriously, you're having your first baby, and your second baby is arriving at the same time as your first baby! That's going to be a very huge and wonderful and overwhelming change! The last thing you need is a lot of pressure to host people and make conversation or pack up all your baby gear and go somewhere. Just going to the grocery store is a big enough excursion the first few months."

If it were possible, I would reach all the way to Florida and give my friend the biggest hug because it felt so incredibly wonderful to know that someone truly understood and supported what I was feeling!!!

For those of you mama's with multiple little ones, maybe you can picture what the chaos, exhaustion, and sweetness of having your first and second babies at the same time will look like. For me, it causes a feeling of excitement mixed with anxiety. Excitement because I want to meet these little ones so much and anxiety because I'm not sure how I'll manage the logistics of two infants, along with the fatigue, healing, and hormones that come after giving birth.

As a people pleaser, I put a lot of pressure on myself to appease people I care about and their expectations, and I know that with the birth of a baby everyone has a LOT of expectations. However, I am learning that I can no longer allow myself to be a people pleaser and put others' expectations first because what is most important now is taking care of myself, my hubby, and our family. I just hope and pray that people will understand, not take it personally, and know I still care about them!

Matt and I are trying to prepare ourselves for this major change in our lives and what it will mean to us individually as well as a couple. Everyone says a baby changes everything, so I can only wonder how much more things will change with two babies! We have tried to take a last getaway weekend before the babies come but it has been next to impossible with Matt's travel schedule and my inability to travel anywhere. Being the awesome man he is though, Matt put aside the fact that he's lived in hotels for weeks on end now, and has booked a fancy hotel for us to stay at in San Francisco. I am just hoping the hotel has enough pillows to accommodate my heartburn sleeping situation ;)

Yes, I actually "sleep" (aka lay in bed all night wishing I were sleeping) with 10 pillows to keep me propped upright and support my baby belly and back

While it's true that with any baby you never really know when they'll arrive, it's even more true with multiples. The statistic I've read is that 50% of the time they'll arrive between Weeks 32-38 and the other 50% of the time they'll arrive before Week 32. That's a huge window of time to try and be prepared and plan for, especially for an avid planner like myself!

So in summary: we're having our first and second babies at the same time, we don't really know when they'll arrive, and we know everything will change but are not really sure what that will look like. Please have grace and love for us in these last weeks of pregnancy, as well as the first 12 weeks after the babies are born, when we don't answer our phones, hang out, or have to say no to something. We'll figure it all out eventually, life will find a new kind of normal, and we promise to get back to you. :)

Until these little ones arrive, we're just trying to find time together once Matt's business trips end, and I'm finding I have to take it easier and easier and keep my feet up. Currently, one baby weighs 3 lbs and the other weighs 2.7 lbs and both are very healthy. I now begin seeing my doctor every two weeks and it's feeling like we're that much closer to the home stretch!