How We Got Here

I think the most common question we've received since the last post is, "So, how come you decided to do IVF?"I kind of thought the answer was obvious- you know, wanting to have a baby- but I suppose most people are looking for the more detailed explanation of how we got here. Well, that makes sense.

In April, Matt and I decided that I would get off birth control pills, which I had also been using to control the growth of my endometriosis. We figured it would take time to work back into my normal cycle and I would track things to gain a better understanding and plan for the future. During this time we thought we would try the "old fashioned way" (as some of our friends have referred to it) and see what happened.

Then in June I thought we'd had success and I made a doctor appointment to get a blood pregnancy test, but it came back negative, which wasn't making any sense since I was so late. That's what led to the beginning of tests to investigate if I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) as well as my endometriosis. One doctor appointment led to another, and then one set of tests led to another.

In September we found ourselves at a fertility specialist (or at least that's what she called herself) in San Jose, and she put me on Clomid even though we felt in our gut that it wasn't going to work. Working with her was a mess- we couldn't understand her accent, she didn't seem to listen to us, got defensive over our questions, and would skip around the truth. After a series of test results came back she diagnosed me as having PCOS and endometriosis, and then prescribed the Clomid, reassuring me that it would work just fine. But a few appointments and weeks later, she told me that it would actually take a few months of using Clomid before we possibly saw any benefits.

At this point I called my sister, asking if this is how infertility doctors worked or if this lady was as cracked up as I was beginning to think she was. After a long conversation my sister made a very significant and insightful suggestion. She told me that if she could go back in time and could do it again, she would go straight to IVF and skip all of the pain, emotional ups and downs, and money wasted on procedures with a lower chance of success. Matt and I knew we were in a fortunate and rare position where our health insurance would cover the amount of about one round of IVF. So my sister made some calls and was able to connect us with the fertility specialist she saw in Thousand Oaks. He recommended a specialist in San Francisco but that doctor was an out-of-network provider and the doctor down south was in-network, meaning our benefits would go farther with him despite the distance we'd need to travel to get there.

So here we were in November, finally meeting with a doctor who knew what he was talking about, welcomed questions, made things easy to understand, and had numerous success cases. He presented us with a wealth of information and two options. First, I had a cyst on an ovary that was 6cm, or about the size of a lemon. If we wanted to move forward with this doctor then we needed to do so now (to be done before they close their office in December for the holidays) or wait until January to begin (which really means doing the transfer in February, so more like a 4 month wait). The trouble is that a cyst basically feeds on the eggs, and the less eggs you have the poorer the quality of the remaining ones, plus a cyst can continue to grow the longer you leave it. So if we waited four months we ran the risk of less success due to quality and number of eggs, and a chance that the cyst could grow and even rupture. Plus, a cyst of this size indicated that my endometriosis was at Stage 4, which is the worst stage. This combination was the factor that steamrolled us into our fertility treatment options.

Option 1 had a 20% chance of success and was to do everything like IVF- meds, tests, etc.- but the doctor inserts the sample directly at the prime moment. Option 2 had a 60% chance of working and was IVF, where after lots of meds and tests, the doctor removes the eggs, creates embryos, and inserts the embryos at the prime moment. Knowing that we only had one shot to do this, and insurance would only cover so much, we chose our stronger option. And we chose to do so now due to the cyst and the chance that my egg quality/quantity had been compromised due to my long history of cysts (and having them rupture, which is what first alerted us to my endometriosis in 2005).

So here we are. Starting injections today and planning for IVF. We didn't plan on going this route, we certainly hoped we wouldn't have to, but we're thankful that we have the opportunity, as most couples can't afford to. At this point, we're really only able to take things day-by-day and dose-by-dose. Matt is giving me my morning and evening shots and luckily for me, my husband was a vet tech assistant in high school and is familiar with giving them. We'll just be sure that as these hormones kick in, we don't compare me to any animals. ;)

A New Diagnosis

**I would like to note that I have written, deleted, and rewritten different versions of this post numerous times over the past month. As things have progressed I have kept silent, unsure what to say and how it would be received. So please, read this knowing that I am opening up and sharing with you from the very most personal part of my heart. Thank you.**

The other day I was rummaging through a desk drawer, on the hunt for the packing tape, when I ran across this old pair of Nathan’s socks. Months ago, my sister gave them to me so we could put them on Hunter’s feet as a fun joke after seeing similar (and hilarious!) stunts on YouTube. Now, looking at these tiny socks, a whole new flood of emotions washed over me.

There are some things you just know about yourself from a very young age. For me, I’ve always known this:

• I’m crazy over long dogs with short, stubby legs, and big, floppy ears.
• I could spend all day lost in a good book, curled up with a warm cup of tea beside me.
• I’m quiet until I feel secure, and only then can I feel free to be myself.
• I may act resilient but really even the quietest criticism is embedded in my heart.
• I’m meant to be a mother, snuggling little ones, teaching them about life, and watching them grow with pride in my eyes.

While I’ve known in my heart that I was designed to love little ones, I’ve also known for the last seven years that my biology did not agree with creating with this truth. So when Matt and I started talking about the time when we would have a family, I decided to head to the doctor for a checkup and some tests. But I wasn’t prepared for what she would tell me- that I had not one infertility disease to battle, but two. With that news, I cried. A lot- some with Matt and some by myself- feeling like nobody understood what this meant: giving up the “normal” progression of life, finding out in a secret moment by myself and planning how to keep and share the incredible news, the feeling of excitement with a little bit of fear of the unknown mixed in, and the lighthearted banter with other expecting friends.

Instead these facts meant that I would be headed down a path I had seen several others struggle down, full of pain and heartbreak, judgment and unneeded advice thought to be “helpful” by those who offered it, and trials of faith and heart. While it’s not uncommon for the average mother to have at least one miscarriage in her lifetime, for a mother fighting infertility, it is practically promised that she will have several. Somehow it seems so wrong that the women who work the hardest to gain their children lose them the easiest.

Taking the advice and help of my sister, I made an appointment for a second opinion with a specialist in Southern California. I gathered the last seven years of information from my medical files- exams, tests, surgeries, and results- and headed to my meeting hoping to learn my fate as a mother. As I sat in that office chair, on the opposite side of the desk from the doctor who would either crush my heart or stir my dreams, my hands shook and I tried desperately to hide the betrayal of my nerves by clutching them tightly together in my lap. When he overturned the diagnosis made several weeks before, stating evidence and facts that I had never heard before but now made perfect sense, my heartbeat quickened and hope slowly grew within. While I was still dealing with one infertility disease- my endometriosis, which now appeared to be at the most severe stage possible- I was not dealing with a second. And for that I could take a breath and praise God. And then face my future.

The doctor laid out several paths we could take if we wanted to move forward and we then said goodbye. I took my folders of information home with me and discussed them over the weekend with Matt, and on Monday we called the doctor to hire him onto our team. I needed someone in my corner who knew what I faced, knew how to handle it, and had faith that it could be done. I am so blessed to have found that! He calls me personally on the phone to check in, to ask if I have questions, to explain what steps are next, and he keeps it all simple despite an overwhelming process.

You see, I know now that sometimes when you know something is meant to be, it doesn’t mean that it will come easily. It means that you will FIGHT to gain your dreams. You will become RELENTLESS in your pursuit. And you will fall at each defeat but you will RISE AGAIN to overcome. This is my path to becoming a mom. It doesn’t look like everyone else’s but that’s okay. I know I am not alone as I walk this path in front of me, but am surrounded by a husband and family who love me and are committed to praying for our journey.

So tomorrow I will begin my IVF cycle. It begins with several weeks of medications and injections, moves on to surgery, several days of recovery, and then a procedure which will hopefully take and become the start of our new family. Several people have told me that I shouldn’t put this information out there for everyone to know, and I know that by doing so I am opening myself up for unintended hurtful comments and opinions, but I strongly feel that no woman should have to go through this process alone. If I put my story out there and can help even one woman through it down the road, then it will be worth it. I also know that if I keep this to myself then others won’t know how deeply it hurts to hear the often-said phrases of, “You don’t know because you’re not a mom”, “It’s your turn next”, or “You don’t want to wait too long because you’re only getting older.” And most importantly, by keeping this information hidden, I would be blocking you out of the opportunity to pray with us and see His answers unfold.

Suddenly looking at this little pair of socks, I was reminded of why I’m embarking on this difficult path and that it will be worth it in the end, as we have little feet to once again fill them. When I first started this blog I invited you to come along with us on our journey, and this is an important part of that. So I ask that you join us with your support and prayers for safety, wisdom, recovery, health, trust, and courage. Please stand by us with love and encouragement, as we’ll need that more than ever in the upcoming weeks.

Thank you!

Team Scott- Staci and Matt

Pumpkin Patch 2012

This last weekend Matt and I went for our annual Pumpkin Patch outing and I thought I would share a few snapshots from the day!

Trying out the new camera!

Oh you know, just a couple of turkeys over here...

The winning pumpkin!

Our second annual Pumpkin Patch adventure

Arroyo Grande Harvest Festival & Paws of Thunder

You can't tell me these little wieners don't make you melt... Marley & Shelby, our friend's dachshunds

There's not much in life that would make me happier than being swarmed by a hoard of dachshunds. So many of them that I could lay on the ground making snow angels and having more than my arms could hold at once. It would be heaven! Until then, I hunt down wiener dog events so that I can be as close to those dreams as possible. When I came across a wiener dog race in Arroyo Grande (found via stalking the Foxy Doxy Dachshund Rescue Facebook page), I quickly linked it to Matt and made plans for a trip to San Luis Obispo. 

My friend Kristi opened her home for us to stay overnight, we made dinner plans with our friends Steve & Jessica for Black Sheep Bar & Grill (where I eat their Mac N Cheese every chance I get), and we invited everyone to come view Hunter speed down the track as fast as his 3-inch legs of glory could carry him. 

We arrived at the event, covered in sunscreen, loaded down with toys and treats to entice our dog to first place, and checked him in. The sun was shining, there were doxies galore, and we got in a few practice runs- things were looking good! Of course, I also tried my best for Matt to let us adopt one of the Foxy Doxy dogs, but was swiftly denied. Oh well. I'm happy to say that many were adopted by other families though! 

It was finally time for Hunter's heat. We lined up, I held on tight to our squirming and wild-with-excitement, supposed-to-be-minature 17.9 lb wiener dog, Matt waited at the other end with a big, colorful beach ball, the countdown sounded, and Hunter was OFF! (we are in the farthest left lane and Hunter has a red bandana on)

As you can see, we quickly secured first place of our heat and waited to move on to the semi-finals! We knew we had a blue ribbon in the bag. Our dog had determination, speed, and joy feeling the wind flop his long ears all about as he ran. We lined up for the second round and Hunter was focused on Matt holding the coveted beach ball. That is, right up until a second before the countdown sounded. Then, to my HORROR, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman playing with something that looked like this:

Hunter has a weakness for furry creatures, and as soon as he saw it, I knew we were doomed. There was no way I could tell the lady to stop playing with her dog toys right by the starting line, get Hunter focused back on Matt, and get him down the track in time. So the countdown started and Hunter ran FAST...right for the dog toy on the other side of the fence, and then finally made his way down the track. Meanwhile, the lady looks at me, "Oh man, sorry!" Yeah, I wanted to take her sorry and her dog toy and hit her upside her noggin with both of them! Sometimes people just don't think! (we are in the lane farthest to the right and Hunter still has on a red bandana)

Perhaps I got a little competitive and overly involved in a silly wiener dog race, but Hunter LOVES to run and we knew he was one of the fastest dogs there. I would have rather he lost fair and square than due to a woman's oblivious actions on the sidelines. Oh well, live and learn. Next time look for all possible distractions beforehand. So while we didn't win a blue ribbon and awesome gift basket, we did get a bag full of schwag, had lots of fun with friends, and have a very worn out wiener dog. He's currently sleeping next to me, dreaming of racing I'm sure. And I'll be headed to bed tonight dreaming of hoards of doxies!

Snippets & Summaries

I've been getting quite a few questions about this new step in my life becoming a Team Beachbody Coach: What is it? What am I doing? How does it work? Etc. I love hearing these questions and knowing that you all care about what's going on in our lives! :)

To help you out, I wanted to link just a few things that could answer those questions in a short amount of time. I'm still new at all of this so I think this little video will explain things much clearer and quicker than I can yet! I know you're all super busy so I chose one of the shortest ones- it's only 6 minutes and 30 seconds.  





The video mentions a membership you can join and receive a 10% discount, however, I want to make sure everyone knows that you can join for free and still receive the schedules and support! For some people, that's all they need to reach their goals!


Here are the links to my sites if you want to browse around or have more questions!

http://www.beachbodycoach.com/CoachScott12

http://myshakeology.com/CoachScott12

http://myultimatereset.com/CoachScott12

"Eat More Veggies, Have Less Wedgies"

You have to admit that's an awesome slogan.

Okay, let's talk about the dreaded "F" word... yes, Fitness. Many people have a preconceived notion of fitness that can scare them out of getting into a new routine. Maybe it looks like this...

(torture device included)

Or this....

(shudder)

Or this....

(no one should ever have to see this much spandex in a room at once)

No wonder no one wants to workout! They also may think everyone will laugh at them if they enter a gym or exercise class. They won't know what to do. Won't be able to make themselves reach their goals, or even create goals! They think there's no way they can motivate themselves to keep up with a workout plan. Or maybe they have no idea where to begin. All of these are totally valid reasons, but also all reasons that can be overcome. 

As someone who wanted to workout, but didn't know where to begin with my new health restrictions, and didn't want to pay a monthly gym membership, I can speak to almost all of these reasons. I contacted my friend Kristi and asked her to tell me more about Team Beachbody. I knew they created and sold popular fitness programs, like Insanity and P90X, but did they have anything that could work for me??? 

Kristi explained how I could explore all of the 20 different programs offered, order online, have it shipped to my house, workout in my own home (where I didn't have to worry about snickers if I couldn't keep up or messed up a move), and could make up my own schedule or follow along to one provided online. Team Beachbody could create a whole meal plan and shopping list for me. I could connect with other people doing the same program to hold each other accountable, get tips, share success, and encourage one another. I could also purchase supplements to help me reach my goals. It's become a system I've fallen in love with! 

I find it so much easier to fit in a workout when all I need to do is close a door instead of commuting to the gym. I love paying one time for a program that works instead of paying every month to wait for machines and be inspected by every person in the building. And I LOVE the Team Beachbody website. You see, every time you log your workout online (which is so easy to do), you automatically get entered into a daily drawing for $500 and you'll never guess who woke up one day to find out she won...that's right, ME!!! Talk about motivation! 

So after finding something that felt like such a fit for me, I headed back to Kristi to ask her about getting more involved. I found out that you can become a coach, where you help other people find and reach their fitness goals too, and can make a paycheck while doing it! After doing some more research, thinking, and talking to Matt, we decided I would take that next step. As of last week, I am a Team Beachbody Coach and I can't wait to help people feel better inside and out! 

I'll be keeping my nanny job for now as this is a job I plan to financially work up to, and I love the family I've with now besides. Someday I hope to be a stay-at-home mom and our goal is that this will help supplement our family's income while still allowing me to keep my fitness and health goals. It's also our goal for Matt and I to try a program together, so we'll be starting P90X soon! 

Please feel free to email or Facebook me at any time if you have questions, want to find out more, or think you'd like to purchase a program. This is not something I want to be "selling" to anyone, but more something that I'd love to connect people with if they're looking for somewhere to get started or want to expand whatever they're currently doing. For me, there's nothing that feels better than helping someone else, especially if it's about something as serious and important as their health! 

For the Girls

Ladies, prepare yourself. No, seriously. Prepare yourself.


Now go grab all your scarves.


Did you find them all? Okay, good. I hope you have multiples. You're going to need them.


Now take a scarf and use it to tie up anything that will distract you for the next 4 and a half minutes. Children, husband, boyfriend, pets...they all need to be tied up. Niiicceee and tight. Great, I think you're ready....


Now take the rest of your scarves and take in this short flick which will blow your mind: 25 different ways to style a scarf. I know. Earth shaking, right? Fall is coming and you know I have your back...err your neck?....you know what I mean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LYAEz777AU


Now go on and get sassy with your scarves! You can post pictures to thank me later.


Oh, and you might want to untie those distractions now. Except your husband. (I think he liked it. Shhhh) Just kidding!


Enjoy!